The Stream of "I am"

My meditation advises more exposition in and apparently on the first person.

It is hard to believe it is Friday already, not that days mean much here in the Lab. I use the phrase "it's been a whirlwind" to describe our status all the time, but I wonder how much I am leading our situation by doing so. We're busy, we're peaceful, we're slammed, we suffer from doubts daily and we laugh and giggle a lot in spite of it all.

In the past two years I've experienced a deepening of emotion, a clarity. I posit that our diet, our blurring of the lines between life and work, and our decision to dedicate ourselves to assisting in the creation of New Detroit have cleaned up my lenses a bit. The well-meaning "mucous" built up between the ego and experiential reality has thinned out and I'm more fully able to "feel" what is going on inside and out. The idea or feeling of "depth" has been a recurring theme in dreams and exploratory meditation of late. My experiences all have a greater depth than they have before.

Of course, this depth could be an aspect of my adaptation to and preparation for fatherhood. I can actually sense the pheromones Angela is kicking off redirecting the flow of information travelling across the synapses in my brain. The fact that I am experiencing such a subtle chemical reaction could probably use a post of its own. It suppose it speaks in answer to the oft asked question, where does 20+ years of meditation get you? I'll immediately admit to an almost complete lack of understanding as to how and why. But the how and why can wait, when it comes down to it, I'm more of an ironic, spiritual-Stephen Colbert kind of guy anyway. It truly is all in the gut.

At that primal/intuitive/spiritual gut level there is so much going on! More that the pheromones and other chemicals, I have direct knowledge of this being we're currently assisting in the transition from "there" to "here." I would like to also say that I have communication with him or her, but for the most part, it has been a one way stream directed towards Angela and I. That stream of "I am" is strong and getting stronger. In my gut I feel this being actually making a way for itself and, in a very real sense, shifting reality to do so. I sense that certain assistance and people have come into our lives in direct response to the will of this being. That's very abstract, but let's just say that this being is actively making a way for itself, as we all have and do. Sadly, I think that many of us have forgotten that that's what we are doing everyday.

So with all of that said, it seems that you have stepped into my stream of "I am" and while you're here I'll tell you my will. It is my will that we all, every last one of us, remember that we can make a way for ourselves, right here, right now. There is no limit to what we can do and more importantly than that, there need not be conformity to any one thing or way. This construct can handle as many different manifestations as we can imagine, but that's musings for another stream.

So, I'm not going to say it's been a whirlwind any more, but rather a steady stream. I think that will help quite a bit!

In Health, Joy and Liberation,
Gregg

Simplicity; Parsed, Categorized and Rendered Complex

Last night, Angela and I met with a few new lawyers who really cleared up a great deal of our concerns about the way that we have and will structure Detroit Evolution Laboratory. We really appreciate them coming down and cleaning a few things up for us. It calmed some of our structural concerns. Angela made this incredible baked tofu dish, a side of sweet potatoes and an organic mixed greens salad that really hit the spot for a light fall meal. After dinner, I went over to visit with the boys down the street and to welcome John Sinclair back home from Amsterdam. His birthday's this Saturday and there's going to be a celebration at the Bohemian House. We've got an evening Fall Into Vegan class and it's also Ella's birthday and we'd like to get out to see her too! It is going to be a busy Saturday full of celebration.

Speaking of celebration, both Angela and I have noticed a huge shift in the past week. Things seem to be a bit lighter even though we have been faced with some of our greatest challenges. This brings me back to the evergreen but oft forgot notion that it really is all about perspective. It is simple I know, but why is it so hard to believe it can be simple. Of course, contrary to the cultural norm, my idealism increases as I age. I think that there is potential for radical individual coup d’état within each of us and that a loose system that celebrates and encourages revelation will rise to facilitate change. 10 years ago my college friends recognised a shift from what they called "spooky-Gregg" to a more laid-back relaxed model, and that evolution has continued in the face of jeers over the last decade.

I mean, my youth was as rough as it can get for a lower middle class white kid, my cynicism high even as a pre-teen, and my eventual arrival in anarchist and counter-culture theory and practice provided a firm defensive footing. My balls-out creds stand intact. I've paid my dues on defense and in the process have learned vital techniques to finesse reality and think that my cynicism assisted as vital training in depth psychology and matter manipulation. I was a fairly apt study and quickly learned that the world is as mutable as one's belief. I worked this model successfully for years but now I'm discovering and walking with the more subtle theory that strong, yet non-dogmatic, individual belief structures can render great change in this space we inhabit. At least that's the story I'm sticking with for the moment. I'm confident that it will morph and change.

Well, that's three days of musing and it is flowing easier everyday.
More simplicity: If you don't use it you loose it and you are what you eat.
The reliance upon complexity for meaning or purpose becomes more ludicrous every day. Of course, if the exploration of complexity brings you joy, then by all means furrow your brows to your own delight!

The New Moon

We'll see how long this posting streak can run here. I'm intent upon writing every day and in order to keep up with all the writing opportunities I have in Detroit, I have to. Ill be sharing time between Detroit As A Portal and our baby blog, Aya Rising. Both have been quiet, but we're changing that.

This first new moon of August was incredibly settling for us. It was about as decadent as it gets for us these days. We decided not to attend the Chicago/Michigan Burning Man Decompression this weekend and took the weekend off from the Market due to my Mac crash, so we had time to sit together and reflect a bit on the past few months. Sometimes we're so in "it" that we loose grounding and the ability to see the big picture. This weekend allowed us to ground and boy did we need it!

This is one of those points that I've struggled with repeatedly on my path. It's also the reason why I always try to convey the importance of grounding in class. It is vital to take your awareness WAY out to your fingers and toes and that we really try to "be" in our entire bodies. While this is true, it is also true that being mindful is a process rather than a concrete state of mind. The ability to know the place, state and characteristics of ones awareness is the next level of being aware.

Recognition and knowledge of the fluctuations of ones awareness without judgement seems at this point to be the task at hand for many of us, Angela and I certainly included.

Further Back and Faster (thanks to X)

We've know this for years, but now it appears that some of the monkeys are beginning to wake up.

If his experiment with splitting photons actually works, says University of Washington physicist John Cramer, the next step will be to test for quantum "retrocausality."