Friday, October 24, 2008

The Stream of "I am"

My meditation advises more exposition in and apparently on the first person.

It is hard to believe it is Friday already, not that days mean much here in the Lab. I use the phrase "it's been a whirlwind" to describe our status all the time, but I wonder how much I am leading our situation by doing so. We're busy, we're peaceful, we're slammed, we suffer from doubts daily and we laugh and giggle a lot in spite of it all.

In the past two years I've experienced a deepening of emotion, a clarity. I posit that our diet, our blurring of the lines between life and work, and our decision to dedicate ourselves to assisting in the creation of New Detroit have cleaned up my lenses a bit. The well-meaning "mucous" built up between the ego and experiential reality has thinned out and I'm more fully able to "feel" what is going on inside and out. The idea or feeling of "depth" has been a recurring theme in dreams and exploratory meditation of late. My experiences all have a greater depth than they have before.

Of course, this depth could be an aspect of my adaptation to and preparation for fatherhood. I can actually sense the pheromones Angela is kicking off redirecting the flow of information travelling across the synapses in my brain. The fact that I am experiencing such a subtle chemical reaction could probably use a post of its own. It suppose it speaks in answer to the oft asked question, where does 20+ years of meditation get you? I'll immediately admit to an almost complete lack of understanding as to how and why. But the how and why can wait, when it comes down to it, I'm more of an ironic, spiritual-Stephen Colbert kind of guy anyway. It truly is all in the gut.

At that primal/intuitive/spiritual gut level there is so much going on! More that the pheromones and other chemicals, I have direct knowledge of this being we're currently assisting in the transition from "there" to "here." I would like to also say that I have communication with him or her, but for the most part, it has been a one way stream directed towards Angela and I. That stream of "I am" is strong and getting stronger. In my gut I feel this being actually making a way for itself and, in a very real sense, shifting reality to do so. I sense that certain assistance and people have come into our lives in direct response to the will of this being. That's very abstract, but let's just say that this being is actively making a way for itself, as we all have and do. Sadly, I think that many of us have forgotten that that's what we are doing everyday.

So with all of that said, it seems that you have stepped into my stream of "I am" and while you're here I'll tell you my will. It is my will that we all, every last one of us, remember that we can make a way for ourselves, right here, right now. There is no limit to what we can do and more importantly than that, there need not be conformity to any one thing or way. This construct can handle as many different manifestations as we can imagine, but that's musings for another stream.

So, I'm not going to say it's been a whirlwind any more, but rather a steady stream. I think that will help quite a bit!

In Health, Joy and Liberation,

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