Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Dolce & Gabbana, A New Challenge!

I’ve been waking up every morning and asking myself “what are we going to make today?” Thus far I’ve been having a blast with this morning ritual. The Church of Wide-Eyed Awe and the Renegade Reality Lab are working in tandem to kick open a few doors, crank out some new ideas, and finely hone small details like the color of Grandma’s shag carpet. You know, the lost little bits in the nooks and crannies of reality that really affect the overall aesthetic of the place.

Two days ago, Disinfo placed my slight rant about Scientology on their site and my inbox was bombarded with international fan mail over The Dolce & Gabbana Fundraiser! That was quite brilliant. Speaking of D&G, as of this morning, here are the stats:

We’re at $100 straight up! No Freakin’ Kidding!

A HUGE “thanks” to everyone who kicked in on this one and changed reality. (Whether for better or worse is yet to be seen!) You’ve made all of this possible and have impressed laugh lines upon me that will stick until I finally take this silly human suit off. To those of you who have sent hate mail and questioned my integrity I say thank you as well! Actually, it is you who have REALLY impressed these laugh lines upon me. Silly humans! Why waste your time chastising me for my non-yogic ways when you could be out having fun. Or is fun non-yogic? Don’t answer that, I may have to run out and burn my mat.

So, we’re getting down to the wire here. $60 dollars to go and I tell you, as I sit here on the 8th floor of this strange building in the heart of Detroit and look out my window I see there are only a few clouds in the sky. The sun is BRIGHT and, my friends, these crap sunglasses from Target will only suffice for a few more days. The sun has lit my way and I now realize that I have to up the ante here.

First, working off a theme Frank left in the comments here, I must quote Roy’s last lines from Blade Runner: “I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate.” Yeah, as Frank said, “my eyes have seen the Glory!”

Second, another reader made a suggestion that I’m going to twist in an attempt to get us even closer to the $160 mark. It’s only $60 dollars away folks! We can all come together and do this. Let’s do it for the kids who perished under the dark fist of the ATF and their cronies at Waco. You remember Waco, right?

I’m pleased to announce a new twist to the Renegade Dolce & Gabbana Fundraiser. For anyone who donates $20 or more, I’ll send a limited edition signed and numbered glossy photograph of me in these RAD shades! But that’s not all! I’ll take photo direction from the donor! For example, you can request a photo of me in these glasses while in Supta Kurmasana(ala Kate Moss), or any other yoga asana. Maybe you’d like a photo of me in the glasses while curling, with Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick, or anything else within the bounds of my own twisted mental faculties. Challenge me!

So there you have it, my attempt to up the ante a bit. If three souls step forward to assist with this project we will find ourselves on to bigger and brighter undertakings. With these shades in tow, the level of brightness will cease to matter. The endless space and time of our imaginations will carry us through all possibilities to the realization of our deepest desires! Join me dear reader, become a supporting member of the Renegade Reality Lab and change the world!

Please visit the donation information on the sidebar of the main page to make this real!

Yours in Wide Eyed Awe,
~Gregg

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

I donated over $20.00 today, I would like to see you wear your classes at the beach in Encinitas!
Kiran

Anonymous said...

Beyond the Discordian dancehalls where the blithe movements from the limbs of Eris can be seen… Beyond the playgrounds of Leary’s Starseed jungle gym… and even further beyond the sonorous inter-galactic flute sounds of KSNA’s playing there is the Renegade Lab where anything and everything is possible….thanks for always proving this to be true…it has been one smile color joy ride after another.
Here’s to all the many manifestations, and blowing chai tea out of my nose laughs!
~M*

Anonymous said...

yeah right sucka'! 20 bucks for a picture of you? oh, i've already got a LOT of pictures of you. you should install a better security system at your house... now i get to ask jeanine, "got any naked pictures of your husband? want some?"
heah heah heah (sleazy laugh)-kim

Gregg Newsom said...

I think you might be one of those "hell in a handbasket" people my teacher warned me about. Me, naked? NEVER!

Anonymous said...

Kim~
Honey, My little Frankenfurter... are you feeling alright...have you been posessd by Rodney Dangerfield again ???
:)/:)
Mira.

Omgirl706 said...

HaHaHa HaHaHa HeeHeeHee HO HO HO....and on and on and on.....O MY GOD....You are a trip....luv D

Anonymous said...

"Curling with Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick" Ok now I'm a little tempted. :) A