Yoga Vision and Voice: One of THOSE days...

The alarm went off at 4:30 as it does every morning that I practice before work. I turned the alarm off and settled back into the bed a bit to stretch and prepare myself mentally for the blast of cold air that would hit me when I managed to move out from under the blankets and the dogs. It was at this very moment that the voices presented their case.

"You know you've been sick and an extra day of rest will be good for you."
"You don't have to do yoga everyday, it's good to break it up a bit."
"It's pretty cold out there, there's ice and it could be dangerous."
"You know that J9 would be happy if you'd stay in bed and snuggle."
"You work really hard and do tons more than most people, why not give yourself a reward for your hard work?"
"Why don't you go back to sleep? When you wake up, pack your yoga mat and clothes. You can do yoga at the gym once you get to work."

And on and on. Now this happens every morning but this morning it was particularly rough and I could easily see that the voices all had pretty good points. On many levels I was buying it. My only defense was that tomorrow is Saturday and a day off from yoga and that I knew I would feel like shit for the whole day if I didn't get up an go. When I don't hit the mat in the morning my body tightens up and my mind is extremely restless. No yoga makes a very grumpy day.

Unlike most days where the voices give up once I pull away the blankets, today the voices went with me to the studio.

"Just do your sun salutations and then move to finishing. You can then go home and crawl back in bead."
"Ok, just do a few of the standing series and then wrap it up. You could still curl up for 45 minutes before you need to get to work."

They became a bit tiresome after a while so I decided I needed a new distraction. Attempting to focus on the breath and bandhas wasn't doing it. They had somehow overridden the system. But what would do the trick and banish these buggers?

Last night I went to the bookstore. I had a 25% off coupon and finally bought Alex Grey's Transfigurations. As I fell off to sleep I was flipping through the images in complete awe. For those unfamiliar, Grey's paintings document the physical AND energetic systems of the human body and their relationships or interconnectedness to everything around them on the physical and spiritual planes. Brilliant stuff and as far as my experiences are concerned, very accurate.

So, with Grey's art very active in my mind I elected to expand a bit from the breath bandha focus and shift my vision to see the energy within my own body and the room around me. Now, being an energy worker I have honed my skills so that I can see the energy in and around my clients and myself. This usually manifests to me as lattice work between energy hotspots or points in the body and its surroundings. It's very active and flowing. I usually don't "turn this on" unless I'm with a client. When it is "on" it is superimposed upon my "normal" vision.

In the past, turning it on during yoga has been very distracting. I become more aware of the others in the room, the cars speeding past outside of the building, and a great deal of information beyond my standard perception. It moves one away from the goal of going internal. This morning based on Grey's work my intention was simply to open up to the energy within my own body and its relationship with the space only a few feet around me. Well, let's just say that my mind decided to take a page right out of Grey's work and it rendered a bright grid running from the energy centers in my body outward. I worked on not following the grid too far outside of my own space but was aware of the manner in which it shifted towards my left where another student was practicing.

So, if you don't think I've lost it thus far, here's the litmus test. When I came to Utthita Hasta Padangusthasana I picked up my foot and rested it on one of the gridlines! The strength of the line fluctuated with my breath. It was totally incredible! I was again in awe and as I became more aware of what was happening I witnessed the energy centers within my core flaring out and up. There were symbols and tones emanating from these centers and the intensity increased. Of course, bear in mind that this is all happening quite quickly and I'm balancing on one foot while these major explosions are going on. I had to take it down a few notches to continue with the practice. The voices were silent, my awareness was up and practice became light and very different from my standard Ashtanga fare.

In addition to all of this going on inside, Matthew came and gave me the greatest adjustment in Marichyasana C I've ever had. I swear it felt like my torso had completely turned around to face the back wall. I know that's not the case, but that's how it felt. Incredible. Strong, yet open.

So, again I find a new twist to practice and new inspiration. It is amazing how some of my worst days, when the voices are particularly active, turn into the brightest and most enlightening.

Enjoy the day off tomorrow. I know I will!